


no clowns at the circus today.

by furies



Category: The L Word
Genre: Angst, Episode Related, Gen, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-06-13
Updated: 2009-06-13
Packaged: 2017-10-04 11:19:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/furies/pseuds/furies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>jenny schecter changes everything.</p><p>this is post-series finale, but kind of inside the last episode as well. (the character death is canon - see the final season.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	no clowns at the circus today.

**Author's Note:**

> for the bordellinos 48 hour challenge, where i was prompted by pene, and had to write a story of 300 words or more and post within 48 hours, and prompt the next person.
> 
> prompt: "Evening fell just like a star, left a trail behind. You spit as you slammed out the door." from Tom Waits' song Please Call Me, Baby.

Her hair hung in heavy ringlets, tiny pools gathering around her feet. The concrete was still warm, the lights she'd strung with Tina twinkling overhead.

This is just how she'd want it, she thought. A sleeping princess in a fairy tale, an ending befitting the girl who lived the life of a Hollywood movie – in almost too many ways.

It had been instinctual, east coast born and educated, still, Bette saw the panic on Alice's face. And then Jenny's hazelnut hair, spread like kelp on the surface of the pool, face down – and she jumped. No thoughts of clothes or ruined Manolos. No thoughts of anger or stolen film projects or tactless behavior, New York or good byes. No thoughts, no thoughts at all.

Bette was an excellent swimmer, screaming to call 911 as she flipped Jenny over in the shallow water. Her lips were not yet blue, no bruising on the face. Jenny looked like Jenny always looked, mascara slightly smeared. Come on, Jenny, Bette whispered, pulling her to the edge of the pool. Shane waist-deep in the water, helping Bette push Jenny up, Alice and Kit grabbing her wrists.

Where is the fucking ambulance, Alice yelled, over and over. Shane silent, holding Jenny's hand. Tina had Angelica in the kitchen, Max on the phone with the police. Fuck Fuck Fuck Alice yelled. Bette's head was screaming.

You will not die on me this way, Jenny Schecter, you will not, fist pounded on pavement. You will not. You will not die this way. Hand over hand, fingers locked, palm against Jenny's chest. Infant CPR classes transferred to the youngest of their circle, her neighbor, her annoying friend. This is not the way good byes happen. This is not the way. You will not die this way. You will not die this way.

She does of course. Jenny dies and Bette sits wrapped, Egyptian terry cloth robe, shivering. Tina rubs her hand against her arm but Bette shrugs her off. Tina has Angelica on her lap. She doesn't know what to say. No words. No words about what to say to the police, no words about what to do. No words about the funeral, where Jenny would be buried, if they should call her family. No words, no words at all.

She is supposed to be going to New York, with her wife Tina, their baby Angelica, and a new future. She is supposed to be starting fresh. She is supposed to be beginning a new chapter of her life. She is supposed to be beginning. Supposed supposed supposed.

Alice whispers fuck fuck fuck.

Jenny Schecter, as usual, changed everything.

The police arrive. They agree to meet at the station downtown. Nikki appears and Bette thinks what the fuck but the whole night has been what the fuck and Jenny is dead.

Alice goes with Tasha. Bette doesn't even remember when Tasha arrived, or why she wasn't there to begin with. They start a carpooling plan, too many cars and people going to one place. With one exception – Jenny goes to the morgue. Bette gets interrogated.

Tina still has Angelica. We can drop her off at the babysitters, she says, hand heavy on Bette's thigh. Bette shrugs it off.

I need to get changed. I'm dripping. Can't you see? Angelica shouldn't be here, just, you go and I'll – I look like a fucking mess –

Kit interrupts and takes Angie from Tina. Go get yourself together, Kit says. Helena and I will take Tina with us.

Shane stands up. Bette had forgotten, almost but not quite, the two of them in matching Egyptian terry cloth robes. I need to get some clothes, she says. We can drive together and Kit decides it all makes sense and everyone leaves. Bette doesn't kiss Tina goodbye. She smells of the pool of desperation of death. She almost gags. She'll see her soon enough except didn't she think the same thing about Jenny?

Shane hasn't moved. Bette takes her by the hand, takes her upstairs, into the bathroom that was going to be for her and Tina, before New York, before Jenny. Upstairs where the railing isn't fixed but the view is still of the clear pool and the twinkling lights she strung hours before. They stand in the bathroom. We need to get this chlorine off of us. Shane stares out toward the pool. Come on, honey, there's nothing we can do. We just need to get clean. She helps with Shane's wet shirt and pushes her gently in the shower. They both shiver. What the hell she thinks and steps inside with her water beating on both their heads. Naked and alone, neither tries for eye contact. She reaches out to touch Shane's shoulder but stops before touching. We can't let anything happen. Chains hang heavy from Shane's neck. Bette rubs shampoo into her hair. When Shane doesn't move, she sits her down, like she does with Angie in the bath. Washes Shane's hair humming.

Neither of them cry.

Everything seems softer inside the shower the sound of the water running making her thoughts quiet. Quiet quiet quiet she thinks. Shane rocks herself slowly head hitting the wall. Bette doesn't stop her.

Later she says it's time. Water off. She is dripping, tiny pools of water gathering at her feet. Dries her hair with a heavy towel and helps Shane up from the tile. We have to get going.

They dress in silence. Bette – but Shane stops and Bette looks in the mirror to fasten her necklace.

Bette walks to the front door. I'll drive. Shane just walks. Bette turns and slams the door behind her.

She spits the taste of chlorine from her mouth wishing for a good glass of scotch.

Bette doesn't look back. Just follows Shane toward the car.


End file.
